Ranking all the best mini-fantasies within Final Fantasy
As many of you may already know, Final Fantasy XVI will feature exactly zero minigames. That’s a fairly disappointing aspect of a game that’s not even out yet, so we believe an eulogy is due, right now.
Much like the plots from the various games in the Final Fantasy series, most of the franchise’s awesome minigames also do not carry over from game to game. It’s time we take a look at the most memorable ones and perhaps hope Square Enix ports them all to Final Fantasy XIV.
10. Fort Condor (FFVII Remake)
Fans can complain all they want about the story changes that Remake brought to the original story, but it’s hard to argue that they did a bad job with Fort Condor.
The original Fort Condor was possibly a precursor to the tower defense genre. It showed some promise, but it wasn’t very good. We had to place a few combat units around the map and wait for them to defend the area. It suffered from a harshly slow pace and wasn’t even cool to look at.
Two decades and who knows how many similar games later, Remake came back with a completely revamped and incomparably superior version of the original.
Strengths: Improves upon the original in every single way.
Weaknesses: We’ve had to endure so many similar games over the past 20 years that it’s harder to care much about the genre anymore.
09. Chocobo Hot and Cold (Final Fantasy IX)
There are two things every Final Fantasy fan loves — Chocobos and using them to our advantage.
In Hot and Cold, players hop on a Chocobo and use their “ChocoSonar” ability to search for hidden treasures. It’s a classic game of hot and cold that’s fun for a while by itself, but it becomes especially neat once we realize we can get really good stuff from this treasure hunt.
Hot and Cold is a simple game that doesn’t aspire to be more than it is, and that does a great job of preventing it from feeling like a chore.
Strengths: Everyone loves treasure hunting.
Weaknesses: It might feel a bit childish for players who so not consider that FFIX is a game for kids.
08. Gunner’s Gauntlet (FFX-2)
Final Fantasy X-2 might be one of the most divisive entries in the franchise, but it does one thing really well: baffling players every step of the way.
Who’d expect the poppiest of all Final Fantasy games to feature a shoot ’em up minigame about murdering a bunch of animals? Nobody. And who’d expect it to actually rock? We also hope nobody, but it sure does.
Unlike Blitzball, which uses a turn-based system that disappointed players looking for more freedom, GG uses an active time battle system akin to FFX-2’s combat style, bringing it much closer to the action of Devil May Cry than to what we’d expect from a Final Fantasy title.
Strengths: It’s as unexpected as it is fun.
Weaknesses: It’s hard not to have mixed feelings about a mass animal shooting spree set to some comfy island tunes.
07. G-Bike (Final Fantasy VII)
Ever wondered what a Chocobo race would be like if instead of Chocobos you had a cool-ass bike? And if instead of running against other Chocobos you were running for your life while fighting off enemy soldiers with your huge sword?
That’s what the G-Bike minigame from Final Fantasy VII is all about. It originally shows up as a setpiece in the game, one so cool that the developers just put it in the Gold Saucer so that we could play it over and over again.
Square thought people liked the concept so much that they released an entirely G-Bike-focused title for Android.
Strengths: It’s very fun to experience action mechanics in a Final Fantasy game.
Weaknesses: Gets old rather quickly.
06. Chocobo Breeding (Final Fantasy VII)
One of the cool things about Final Fantasy VII is how it allows players to fantasize about the existence of a breeding industry that doesn’t run entirely on animal cruelty.
Final Fantasy VII puts Cloud in charge of his own breeding farm, one where he’ll use the knowledge acquired from hours of trial and error to create the ultimate chocobo.
It might seem like kind of a chore at first, but the result will more than make up for it. When you finally find yourself riding a Chocobo capable of running on all terrain, or simply a cool-as-hell black Chocobo, you’ll know that was the result of your hard work.
Strengths: Arguably better breeding than you’ll find in any Pokémon game.
Weaknesses: It will test your patience.
05. That Hellish Chocobo Race with the birds (Final Fantasy X)
Hah, I bet you didn’t expect to find this one here. Just the idea of riding a Chocobo through a field to catch balloons sounds ridiculous enough as is. Doing that while having to dodge birds to get the special item that will unlock the full power of Tidus’ celestial weapon in 00:00 seconds is absolutely wild content — even for something with Final Fantasy in the title — but it rocks.
It rocks because it’s frustrating, yes. Players who fail it at first — and most will — will immediately give up as the goal of doing it in 00:00 seconds seems like a cruel joke, but it’s actually a good one. The balloons caught deduce time from the final count, so the goal is very possible and will leave the players who finally achieve it feeling like gods.
Strengths: The most unexpectedly bonkers Chocobo experience in the history of the series.
Weaknesses: The feeling of getting a perfect time undermines the feeling of finally getting to use the celestial weapon at full power.
04. Just Fishing (Final Fantasy XV)
Though likely the least fantastical out of all the minigames in Final Fantasy history, there’s a reason people call fishing “the world’s oldest pastime” — assuming anyone still calls it that.
Full-priced fishing minigames might feel like a stretch for non-aficionados of the sport, but they tend to work pretty well as minigames. FFXV’s iteration of fishing is solid, which is quite an achievement considering the state the rest of the game came out in. Moreover, the cool road trip structure of it all makes FFXV the best possible game in the series to feature such a simple-yet-fun minigame.
Strengths: More fun and focused than the rest of the game.
Weaknesses: It’s just regular fishing. Could have featured more fantastical mechanics.
03. Blitzball (Final Fantasy X)
Blitzball is more than a minigame. It’s an integral part of Final Fantasy X. We only ever have to play it once in the campaign, but it provides a neat early drive to get the story going. That mandatory match is brutal, but we hope it won’t crush your hopes of liking the game. Blitzball is a surprisingly divisive minigame among fans — and one that likely wouldn’t even thrive in the world of FF due to all the inevitable drownings — but those who give it enough time will likely end up enjoying it quite a bit.
Square put great care into the game, creating an entire league filled with different teams that — just like our own — will evolve over the course of the game. Blitzball will later also intertwine with the quest for Wakka’s celestial weapon in a way that’s both fun and actually makes sense in the context of the story (unlike most of the other celestial weapon challenges).
Strengths: A mostly well-crafted blockbuster of a minigame with a matching league that evolves throughout the game and actually connects to the main game’s plot.
Weaknesses: Some call it boring because Square stays true to its turn-based approach instead of going for the more action-oriented approach from NFL or FIFA games. The music will begin to feel repetitive after a while.
Helpful hint for haters: Once you get in possession of the ball, just bring it near the goalie. The enemy AI will never get it from you, so that’s a guaranteed win if you have any scoreboard advantage.
02. Chocobo Racing (Final Fantasy XIV)
It should come as no surprise that someone who likes Final Fantasy X’s divisive Chocobo racing minigame would love the much superior version present in FFXIV. The best part is that you can forget the balloons. Though you can play offline, You’re now a Chocobo rider competing against real people, not NPCs or evil birds.
Even better, the Chocobo Racing minigame from FFXIV combines both neat bird-racing mechanics with an evolved version of the Chocobo Breeding minigame from FFVII. Imagine Mario Kart in Final Fantasy but with a Gran Turismo twist that allows players to “tweak” their Chocobos to have all sorts of bonkers advantages.
FFXIV deserves a lot of love for the game it ended up becoming after its disastrous launch, but also for the incredible care it put into its minigames.
Strengths: It’s so good it could stand on its own.
Weaknesses: We still don’t have a standalone Chocobo Racing game that’s not terrible.
01. Triple Triad (Final Fantasy VIII)
The true Final Fantasy here is the illusion that Triple Triad ever faced some sort of competition here. Triple Triad isn’t just the best minigame in Final Fantasy, it might be the best minigame in minigame history. Heck, it’s more fun than many full-price games — and no, we’re not just talking about card-based minigames. Though, yeah, it’s much better than Artifact. Remember Valve’s artifact? No, really. Google it! It really did happen.
Triple Triad is simple in principle but it offers optional rules for players looking for a more challenging experience. There’s a board with nine slots where two players take turns placing cards that will do battle with each other. Each card has different numbered power values for their up, down, left, and right sides. Players place the cards in a way that will favor their stronger sides and protect the weaker ones. The objective is to defeat (flip) the opponent’s cards to dominate the board.
Triple Triad the perfect companion to the quest at hand in Final Fantasy VIII. Is the plot getting too hard to comprehend? Fret not. Instead, just go look for a stranger to play with. Chances are you’ll find cool new cards that you can collect, use crush other players, or even turn into useful stuff. Yes, you can totally use Triple Triad to avoid getting all salty like the people who complain about having to abuse the Draw system to get cool stuff in the game.
Triple Triad has left such a mark that an unofficial version has been running online for over two decades. This version, Triple Triad Advance, features characters not just from FFVIII, but from various other Square Enix games. It sucks that Triple Triad isn’t in every FF game.
Strengths: It masters the concept of collectible and competitive card play. This is the gold standard of minigames.
Weaknesses: None now that we can officially play it against other people in Final Fantasy XIV.
More Stories by Tiago Manuel
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