A year ago, on a giant national stage, hundreds of media members circled a man triumphant.
On Monday afternoon, in a small room in Thousand Oaks, a handful of rain-soaked souls gathered around a man tormented.
A day after the Rams completed a historical fall from Super Bowl champions to 5-12, Sean McVay held one of the strangest, saddest postseason news conferences by an acting coach in football history.
There was no talk of the team. There was no talk of the future. There was no talk of football.
There was, instead, talk of a personal struggle.
“How do you not let the challenges and the grind and the competitor in you … how do you not let that change the dynamic of who you want to be as a leader in those types of things?” McVay said. “And that’s kind of where I’m at.”
There was talk of searching for a personal renewal.
“You just figure out, ‘All right, what is the best way to continue to move forward in the right way to be the best coach that you can possibly be?’ ” he said.
There was talk of a new journey.
“I’m going to take the next couple days to really be able to kind of reflect,” he said.
Judging from an intimate 13-minute news conference that felt like a therapy session, the hard-charging Rams coach is clearly trying to do something that goes against his very nature.
He is trying to walk away.
And so, he should.
Go, in peace.
Rams coach Sean McVay has not worn a happy face much this season.
(Mark J. Terrill / Associated Press)
Go, for the sake of your mental health, which you obviously believe is being compromised by the intensity of your mission.
Go find whatever part of you has been lost. Go restore whatever part of you has been buried.
If you believe you need to rediscover that excitable 30-year-old who was hired by the Rams at such a young age that he brought his parents to his introductory news conference, go searching for that man.
If you need to ground yourself after a six-year meteoric rise in which you became the youngest coach to win a Super Bowl, go dig up those roots.
Here’s guessing neither the Rams nor their fans will call you a quitter, just as nobody called the Lakers’ Phil Jackson a quitter when he left the team in the summer of 2004.
Here’s guessing everyone would welcome you back after a sabbatical, just as everyone welcomed back Jackson in the summer of 2005.
This is not to compare McVay to the greatest coach in NBA history, only to note that taking a coaching break in this town is not unprecedented and not without merit.
Make no mistake, McVay is not going to permanently quit coaching, and here’s guessing he is not going to permanently quit the Rams.
“I don’t get the sense in the least bit I’m done coaching,” he said. “It’s just a matter of what does that look like as it relates to the immediate future is more about what you’re really working through right now.”
As for the Rams, they are giving him all the space and time he needs for a break. And he realizes that when he’s ready to come back, there is no better place for him to continue to shine.
“I couldn’t be more appreciative of the unconditional support that I feel from Mr. [Stan] Kroenke and from those guys as it relates to how we move forward accordingly,” he said of the team owner.
Moving forward, then, the Rams could hire a veteran coach to keep McVay’s seat warm for a year, maybe longer. If experienced and respected defensive coordinator Raheem Morris doesn’t get a well-deserved head coaching job elsewhere and wants to take a chance that this could be something more permanent, he would be perfect.
No matter what happens, it appears inevitable that McVay is going to leave, and it appears obvious that leaving is the right path.
No, he’s not using this as an excuse to get a big-bucks deal as a television analyst. McVay is already one of the highest-paid coaches, and he acknowledges he’s too young to retire to the booth for any long period of time.
And, no, he’s not using this as an excuse to get away from a Rams franchise that is faced with rebuilding after spending lots of money and trading lots of assets to produce a championship. McVay knows he’ll never have a more generous owner than Kroenke or better teammates than chief operating officer Kevin Demoff and general manager Les Snead.
This is all about how McVay looked at Monday’s news conference — hair askew, eyes distant, voice wavering. This is all about how he has publicly tortured himself after every loss during an injury-filled nightmare of a season. This is about how he probably should have walked away after last year, when he would even publicly torture himself after wins.
Remember when, the morning after the Super Bowl victory over the Cincinnati Bengals, Times columnist Dylan Hernández asked McVay whether he was coming back for the next season?
“We’ll see,” McVay told him.
He was 36, had just won a championship less than 24 hours earlier, and he already was talking about leaving? It was a quote that stunned.
It turns out, nobody should have been surprised.
“This has been years. This isn’t a new thing,” McVay said Monday of his internal struggle. “This has been something that I think has gone on … for a handful of years, but it’s a beautiful challenge.”
In describing that challenge, he referenced the words of a certain great player who also has been haunted by it.
“It’s a beautiful torment … because I love this. I wouldn’t change any of it,” he said. “Actually, I’ve seen Tom Brady had a quote before about [how] he hopes that his kids can find something that they’re as passionate about as he is about football, but he wouldn’t wish that torment on anybody else, and I can really relate to that.”
McVay said he wouldn’t even change his decision to return this season, even with all the Amazon TV money reportedly floating around, even with all the ensuing losing.
“I think in some instances, when you go to those weak spots during this year, you’re saying, ‘Oh, it would’ve been easier to have taken some of the other opportunities that were at your disposal to avoid this,’ ” he said. “I wouldn’t change this for the world. This needed to occur. This was a necessary part of the growth and the development for me to be the person that I need to be.”
Judging from Monday’s news conference, it was clear that McVay needs to take that overdue break, at least for a little while, for the sake of the brilliant and vibrant personality that hopefully can come back stronger than ever.
Do it for your family, for your future, and, most importantly, for yourself.
Go.
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